January 28th, 2016
Billabong Pro Tahiti 2010: Fantasy Surfer Seminar
Teahupoo waiting period starts in 11 days and with no swell due for Ca, you may as well brush up on your Fantasy Surfer strategy for bragging rights. The Billabong Pro Tahiti never fails to dish out multiple 10pt rides and countless DOH detonations. Every top 44 surfer agrees “Chopes” is the most critical event on tour, and this year’s formatting change raises the stakes. Take a few hints from the 800pt club at SWELL, and style out your team all the way to the massive Billabong prize-packs.
Tip #1: Avoid Friendly Fire. Dont get too antsy and pick your team before the heat-draw. Pick surfers in heats with poor tube-riders, and spread them across match-ups that lands your whole team in the 3rd round.
Tip#2: Know Your Teahupoo Trivia. Look back over past performances to nab dark-horses and solid Teahupoo plumbers. Watch the Von Zipper trails. They’re always packed with local hell-men who know the wave, and froth for a chance to upstage high paid hot doggers. Not to mention, wild-cards are a steal, letting you spend more money on the top dogs.
Tip #3: : Study New Fantasy Format. All fantasy teams will be wiped clean right before Trestles, so cash in that equity you’ve earned on Dane, and pick up Damo. The bottom twelve surfers get cut as well, so you might want to bank on the boys going for broke. Traditional conservative contest surfing goes out the window at Teahupoo.
Tip #4: Check the Charts. Knowing what kind of long-term swell patterns are expected should change or at least diversify the make up of your team. Remember at Bells, before Kekoa Bacalso’s heat he joked about Brett Simpson’s ability to excel in total slop, and Simpo ended up punting his way to victory? Well he’s hoping for the tables to turn, and we all hope to see the Teahupoo terror machine come to life.
Tip#5: Sabotage Your Opponents. Falsify rumors that Slater converted to Scientology, or is hiding an injury and wont compete. Or 09′ semifinalist Mick Campbell “the ginja ninja” forgot his sunscreen. Get creative and exploit the weaknesses of your competition,whether it be a know-it all ego or copy cat drafters.
Sorry if I just ruined your bread and butter tactic to winning the office fantasy league, but the ASP is leveling the playing field next month anyways. Look, if more people think they know the secrets to victory, the office jackpot will bulge with every new kook in the game.
Billabong live web cast of the trials starts in a few days, so tune in… just don’t let the boss get wise before the finals.