SWELL Fantasy Surfer Challenge – Billabong Rio Pro & the 24 hour Lockdown

May 23rd, 2011 | By | 498 Comments

Adriano Wins, Bill Loses - Photo Credits: Jonathan

Team Scores (Click Here to See the Teams):

Dave – 713
Morgan – 670
Nutt – 658
Billy – 646

The Billabong Rio Pro was a close one. We were all sure our Catalog Mastermind, The-Not-So-Into-it Mr. Nutt, would get locked up, but Adriano’s win gave him an extra 200 points to narrowly defeat Bill. Bill, who had been laughing at Nutt the day before, didn’t realize his loss until well after Adriano had already been showed with champagne by his fellow Brazos. In half disbelief he reluctantly presented his neck for the cumbersome device and then bore the weight of his poor judgment for a grueling 24 hours. Above is the video of said feat. Watch him go from surf session to bar crawl and from breakfast to lawn bowls, in this telling tale of a man who can’t pick a Fantasy Surfer team to save his neck.

With now two losses under his belt (check out his “Dong Bong” – Shaming here for the Rip Curl Bell’s Pro), Bill claims, “There is no way I’m losing J-bay!”

Think you can beat our scores? Join SWELL’s FAN-tasy Surfer Challenge. Registration opens Thursday, June 2nd. Invite your friends, challenge the SWELL team, win prizes, talk smack.

Got a good idea for a shameful punishment? Before the JBay Pro a Facebook Punishment Poll will determine the consequences for losing the next event. Leave us a comment below and your suggestion might get dealt to one of the losers!

The next Event:
The Billabong Pro J-Bay
July 14-24
Jeffrey’s Bay, South Africa


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Review of the Week…

May 21st, 2011 | By | 1,600 Comments

This guy’s reasoning sits right up there with the best of ’em. You can tell he doesn’t go to school just to eat lunch.

Blackout Bill’s Band of the Week – The Feelies

May 20th, 2011 | By | 1,414 Comments

The Feelies are a rock band from the little town of Haledon, New Jersey. The band was put together by singer/guitarists Bill Million and Glenn Mercer. In 1976, while the punk era was about to detonate, The Feelies were born. Their name is a reference to Aldous Huxley’s novel “Brave New World,” where “feelie” was used to describe a motion picture that also incorporated the sensation of touch.
The Feelies’ sound was everything in terms of rhythm which set them apart from the punk/New Wave bands of their time. They were a particle collider of glistening soundscapes that transformed into an alchemy of purified Velvet Underground-esque jingle- jangle & propulsive measures.

By focusing on precision rather than minimalist drones of distortion and noise, the Feelies forte was off of the beaten path of the late 70s & early 80s punk & art rock movement around New York. Unlike most bands, The Feelies weren’t connected to any extant rock scene and never were exactly tapped to the zeitgeist of their time. They were proud of being musical nerds from New Jersey who wore tucked-in button up shirts & horn-rimmed glasses pushed up to their nose bridges.

Although they looked and dressed as one that would do so if he or she was slavishly devoted to intellectual & academic pursuits, their original sound made up of rapid, clean strumming and sudden explosive leads mixed with simple melodies made them an indelible part of the history of American music. The Sonic Youth guitarist Thurston Moore recalled seeing them play in the late 70’s and quoted “They came out and proceeded to just mow the place down with their guitar playing, and these guys were buttoned-up-collard nerd boys from the ‘burbs. They were totally straight from the backyard cookout. So it was cool to be not cool.”

Still un-signed, in 1978 The Feelies were named “The best underground band in New York” by The Village Voice. In 1980 they released their debut album “Crazy Rhythms.” The record never had a great number of sales but it has become a cult classic, and known as a masterpiece to many people within the music world. The band “ R.E.M.” cited the album as a “major influence.” “We were more concerned, not with how many people we could reach, but how deeply we could reach them,” said co-founder Glenn Mercer (guitarist/vocals).

The Feelies archetypical, hypnotic sound has become a delicate footprint within the annals of music history and is still heavily visible in a cornucopia of contemporary indie rock today.
Here’s a ditty to throw into your walkman and jam to-

“Old Love”


Upcoming Shows-
• Friday Jun,17 – World Café Live – Philadelphia, PA
• Saturday Jun,18 – 9:30 Club – Washington, DC

bill thumbnail
Bill wears a bike lock as the loser of the SWELL’s fantasy surfer challenge for the BIllabong Rio pro. Stay tuned for the video of his 24 hour lock down!

Put Your Man Shorts On

May 20th, 2011 | By | 3,484 Comments


It’s getting close to Summer, so time to shed your man pants and graduate to some man shorts. What constitutes as a man short (says SWELL)? Since we’ve heard some emasculating propaganda about cargo shorts in relation to the post-‘Nam years, we’re leaving them off the list. Here’s how to spot a man short: (1)They’re not Ted Theodore Logan long or Kriss-Kross fit, (2) nor are they pink, or shredded, or covered with logos like your sister’s velor sweatpants. Oh, and man pants won’t put an obscene amount of white man thigh on display (I just threw up in my mouth a little with that visual). Anything with a classic, chino fit, flat front, and solid, logo-less look works for us. So classic Man Shorts, yeah. Wear them.

Get your Man Shorts HERE