August 19th, 2015
BIG GAME HUNTERS
Last night around 2:45 am, we were half-watching a Life of Ryan marathon and contemplating whether or not to make a run for TBell. In this episode, Ryan’s recently jilted mom was lamenting about the sad state of her love life, how difficult it was to meet someone, yadda, yadda, yadda. Right then an there it dawned on us that we had just witness the birth of a full fledge cougar. Miraculous! And an O.C. one at that. Which means that not just any handsome and virile man-boy would satisfy her growing hunger.
An O.C. cougar hunter must be cunning, well armed, and fully loaded. To give you an idea of how best to attract this ferocious feline and her den of she-cats, your look needs to be youthful (but not full-on jail bait), trendy (but not in the annoying metrosexual kind of way), and confident (i.e. don’t be a dick).
So, all-over graphic hoodies are out, along with skinny-ankle girl jeans, nylon wallets with Velcro, and of course man boobs. For you consideration, we’ve compiled an assortment of suitable accoutrements to help you land your big game. Figuring out when and where to get it stuffed is your problem.