Twice a year, the entire action sports industry converges to San Diego for three hectic days at the Action Sports Retailer (ASR) trade shows. Here, retailers from around the globe will view lines and purchase orders for the upcoming seasons, attend informative market strategy seminars, and have the chance to further develop their network of business associates—all in a constructive and encouraging environment.

And immediately following those busy first few hours, they perv.

Who are we kidding? ASR is the best party you’ll probably never get to attend. It’s models and clowns and music and hangovers. And we’ve captured the best of it in the following photos.

Casey from Fuel TV’s “The Captain and Casey Show” takes his baby mamas for a walk.

The Skull Candy dancers can break your face, but they’ll never crack a smile.

Our little “strip search” joke was totally lost on the Contrabrand girls.

There was a big buzz around the upcoming “Gidget” movie. That being: Does anyone care?

This past ASR featured plenty of talk about the recession. Apparently these models had to make some severe cutbacks to reasonable taste.

Here’s our recomendation for fail safe stimulus plan.

And yet another Contrabrand model. Can you guess what she’s smuggling?

The model / sales rep made a point to tell us the Obama bikini bottoms were “just for fun.” I guess she mistook my “that’s tacky” expression for: “I wonder if I can wear these to work?”

Always a crowd pleaser, Body Glove never ceases to amaze.

Compared to her competition, this model seemed to sit higher than most.